Someone asked me once, what does it mean to be born again? Well in order to be born again we first need to die to ourselves and our own ideas. It seems simple but when I consider my own testimony I must admit, that it happened in a way that I could not have planned or considered in my own mind.
But today I can say without any doubt that to be born again is a process of dying, until you can clearly see what God have been trying to tell us all along. That He is in control and that He created us and desire a relationship with us, and that is why He sent His only Son into this world so that we can come to know Him. As it is said in John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.
Today I know that from before I knew the Lord, He called on me, as He is calling on all of us. It all began with a message from my mother, she said that a friend told her that the Lord gave her a message for me. This message from God's Word was Isaiah 45:1-7, as I received the message, I focussed on the part that said I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel"
As I focussed on the treasures and hidden riches from a worldly perspective, God in His perfect love had His eyes focussed on me, refering to the part in Isaiah 45 that said "I have surnamed thee, though thou hast not known me. I am the Lord, and there is none else, there is no God beside me:
Again in considering that the Word of God will not return void, I should have known what is going to happen but like many of us, I believed that I am in control of my own life. But God's plan started to come in fulfilment although I was totally unaware of it
Some time after I received the message from my mother, I visited her on the mission base, called Alabanza in Pretoria. At that time there were a mission conference and they invited me to attend the conference. But since I did not have any interest in the work of God or any religious afairs, I declined the invitation. They however in missionary zeal, insisted until I agreed based om my own terms. I said that I will watch from the door so that I have the freedom to go if I wish to
As I stood in the door one of the missionaries came out and said to me that the Lord told him to pull me out of the hole I am in. Without considering what he said, I submitted to his request. I put my cigarette on the ground and told him that he can pull, without expecting anything. He pulled me just by the hand for only 2 steps, and said to me that is all, ;for me it was as I expected, nothing. I picked up my cigarette and continue as if nothing happend.
But while driving in my car, after I left, I started thinking of sharing the love of Jesus through the gift of a blanket. This thought came to me without me thinking of God or even going to church, I could not understand it, but the thought continued to the extend that I thought of putting a label on the blanket with a Bible verse.
Since I did not want anything to do with the church or evangelism, I decided to tell my mother so that they can use it in their mission for the Lord. As I told my mother about the idea that came up, she simply replied:, "he who has the vision have the mission." , but I did not consider it as a mission at that time.
The Lord however did not leave me, and continued to speak to me concerning the vision of sharing His love through the gift of a blanket. I realised that I needed to find out more about the Lord in order for me to understand what was going on. The Lord knew us from before the foundation of the earth, He knew that I would seek more information concerning Him.
Again I went to visit my mother on the mission base, with the intention to find out more about the Lord. I however did not want to read the Bible, so my mother gave me a book called "Foundational Truths of Christian Living" by Derick Prince.
As I read through the book, I came to a part where the writer said that the Lord sent us His Son so that whoever believe in Him could be set free from the bondage of sin and receive the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. This was the answer to my question, for I have been told that I am a sinner but never how to be saved from sin.
After the mentioned "revelation" I wanted to know how it worked. Dini took the Bible and read Romans 10:9-11 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture said, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed"
They then explained to me that if I wanted what was promised, I should just asked the Lord in prayer to forgive me, and confess that I believe in Jesus as my Saviour and the Son of the Living God.
After I prayed, Dini said that I could ask the Lord for two things. I asked for true love and purpose for my life.
Well as said, God always fulfils what He promises, the sharing of His love as God explained to me even from before I knew Him, became my purpose. I not only surrendered my life unto the Lord, but a few months later the Lord asked me a question in this way, "I gave my life for you, are you willing to give your life for Me'. After 3 days, I said yes. I resigned my job and started working fulltime for the Lord, ;serving on the Alabanza mission base.
I now realised that by sharing His love, the Lord first wanted to show me what is the meaning of true love. True love starts with giving and not receiving. I believe it is based on the fact that the more you share the love of Christ the more you receive His love flowing through you! Therefor the one giving is more blessed than the one receiving.